Is it me or are vampires rather... less scary theses days? Why hello Twilight, no I'm not talking about you... well not explicitly anyway, though I have to question the logic involved when you decided that vampires should sparkle! Seriously look at this picture and tell me where the scary monster who would suckle on your neck like a baby to teat!Zombies remain flesh/brain eating mindless monsters who attack in hordes and spread their curse, if anything they are now scarier as some filmmakers decided that maybe zombies should be able to run!
Mummies are still half-preserved liches of ancient rulers wrapped in rotten (and easily flammable) bandages.
Werewolves still go around biting and killing the people who were closest to them in their former lives...
But vampires... vampires go around drinking the blood of animals and being far to romantic for someone who isn't about to do nasty things to you in an alleyway... vampires are becoming innocent!
Yesterday I had a Halloween night in, Jess and Erica came round and we watched a couple of movies and ate KFC, a solid plan. The first movie was hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, a movie which loses much of its charm due to the fact that everyone in England has already read the books/watched the tv series/listened to the radio plays/played the text game... However in its own right if you didn't have such expectations it is a funny movie, capturing much of the book's charm, this effect would be amplified if you had never read the books/watched the tv series/listened to the radio plays/played the text game. Kind of like Erica and Jess, both of Chinese origin they had never encountered the guide before, they both fell in love with Marvin, so I'd say that was a success if nothing else!
Our second film as interview with the vampire, not a bad film, curiously large amount of homo-eroticism for a film which seemed to never show men wearing any less than a full (period varying) suit and yet had no qualms about having a woman stripped completely naked and killed on a stage... I have to say the most interesting part of the film was seeing Tom Cruise (trying very hard to not slip into a Scientology rant here) actually suckling on a teat, having lured a couple of whores and brought them back to his home that is apparently where he got confused.
Now I know I'm a biologist so maybe I take this for granted and such knowledge is not commonly known, but allow me to explain... The neck is above the breast, its that thin bit after the shoulders but just before that bony bit where the teeth and such reside. I can only hope that in future Tom cruise doesn't make this elementary mistake, I know the science of Scientology is rather lacking (I couldn't resist), but I would have thought enough rudimentary biology to know how to drink from the jugular would be taught to all their vampire members!
However the point that came up in our collective minds was that this vampire would starve to death in modern day America, after luring a local whore and trying to drink her blood he'd end with only a mouthful of silicon, hardy the appetising life-blood he needs to survive. And with his apparent trachelphobia there is no other choice for poor, deprived Tom Cruise!
I suppose the moral of the story today is that breast implants are killing Tom Cruise... Now if you excuse me I think I need to go and get some surgery done, before the world is overrun by the followers of L. Ron Hubbard! May he rest in piece knowing that delusioned celebrities still follow his maddened drug-addled rantings...
3 comments:
First off, I shudder every time I come here and make a comment, solely because of the word verification. I was just presented with 'weweseman' for verification. Are you serious? The cyber gods must have heard my silent cry for help and changed it to adelase. True story, and I felt the need to share.
As for your post, Amen! You have broached a subject that I consider myself to be well-versed in. And I for one, do not subscribe to the demise of the vampire into the the 'Age of Innocence'. Interview with a Vampire was an abject failure, and Anne Rice should be publicly flogged for the destruction of the vampire image that has taken hundreds of centuries to evolve. Twilight was more of the same. I mean the Creature from the Black Lagoon has more appeal to me these days than the present-day vampire.
Nuff said. Great post, Lienna.
Agreed. Lately, we've taken the whole mysterious seductive power of the vampire (ie: exotic, hypnotic powers that rode the edge of fear and awe, making it extra-scary by it's intoxicating allure) and turned it into sexy.
As such, the mystique is lost. Sparkle be darned! :)
Another excellent post. Seems University has drawn out the inner muse here too, which is fun. :)
It might have brought out the muse, but seems to keep it just out of reach 90% of the time. Too much time doing work, reading and *shudder* being sociable to get much writing done inbetween.
Post a Comment